31
Mar 18

“I know an old lady who swallowed a fly,” my seven-year old trilled happily this morning, echoing millions of young children of yesteryear. “I guess she’ll die.”

The old lady, realizing her folly in swallowing the fly, strove mightily to rectify her error.  She swallowed a spider to catch the fly, followed by an increasingly absurd procession of creatures, each devoured to capture the one preceding it.

She swallowed a horse in the end - and died, of course.

It’s a fantastical tale of cumulative woe: a foolish initial decision fatally compounded by a series of additional blunders, each more ill-advised than the last, the outcome lethal but predictable.

And it serves as apt metaphor for the alarming performance of B.C. Premier John Horgan and his government.  Consider for example the “speculation tax” rolled out by Minister of “Finance” Carol James. (I would deliberate instead in this space on the odious business of illegal job-killing pipeline obstruction, but an angry red haze obliterates my vision each time I consider that monstrosity of poor governance, and I’m left muttering incoherently and unable to join sentences properly end-to-end.) Read the rest of this entry »

8
Mar 18

Traumatized young children seeking urgent counseling strained the resources of pediatric emergency departments across the country this week, as the devastating news that the Easter Bunny might be fake hit home.

Such is the aftermath of Tuesday’s shocking decision by Ontario Superior Court judge Andrew Goodman in the case of Derek and Frances Baars, who had their foster children abruptly yanked from their care by the Children’s Aid Society (CAS) of Ontario because they refused to attest to the existence of said rabbit.

The CAS trampled the Baars’ right to freedom of religion and freedom of expression, opined Mr. Goodman, stating: “It appears that the society would not be satisfied with anything other than confirmation from the Baars that they would lie about the Easter Bunny.”

The authors of DSM-5, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders that serves as scripture for practicing shrinks, shall be compelled to craft an addendum, as post-bunny stress disorder (PBSD) enters the lexicon of psychiatry.

And parents, don't think you can protect your children, equipped as they are in this modern day with smartphones and iPads before they can walk:  the kiddies have consumed all the news that matters to them before breakfast is over.  Clever, impossible-to-ignore headlines like the one in yesterday's Toronto Star - "Judge slams hare-brained decision to remove foster kids over Easter Bunny" - are digested along with their cereal and gleefully fed to preliterate siblings before you've rubbed the cobwebs out of your eyes. Read the rest of this entry »

3
Mar 18

It’s hard being me.

Seriously.

I’m tired, weary of “checking my privilege”.

By dumb luck I’m rooted to this planet as an SWM, a straight white male, my mere existence offensive, by default sexist, homophobic, racist - a blight on society, judging by the relentless onslaught of social justice warrior (SJW) messaging.  The post-modern left, as author A.R. Devine explains, holds straight white males to be inferior humans "who should keep their mouths shut and know their place" - privileged, therefore scum.

And it’s hard on me.  We all want to be loved, after all.

The protracted battle of SJW v. SWM is not much of a contest these days. Imagine, for a terrifying moment,  Mike Tyson in his fearsome prime pounding on Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair, and you have accurately grasped the current tilt and tenor of this conflict.

Worse, I’m a married man, hence a wife-beater at heart.  That worthy insight arrived courtesy of Chrystia Freeland, Canada’s wondrously accomplished minister of foreign affairs, in an interview with liberal arts magazine The Walrus – published, in no small irony, on Valentine’s Day: “I’m a woman. I’m a wife. I’m a mother. One hundred years ago, I would’ve been beaten by my husband. That’s what happened to pretty much all women.” Read the rest of this entry »